3rd of Welsh Kids lose contact with a parent, report says

Of course, Equal Parenters well know that this phenomenon is not peculiar to Wales!!!


Up to a third of Welsh divorce kids lose touch with a parent

Aug 2 2006

Darren Devine, Western Mail


UP to a third of children from broken families in Wales lose touch with one of their parents, a new report has revealed.
The findings suggest children are, in some cases, falling victim to the politics of the extended family - disputes between adults when one or both of the separated parents becomes involved with a new partner.
Up to 57% of the Welsh parents surveyed go on to form another family group, compared to the national average of 47%.
Assistant Children's Commissioner for Wales Sara Reid said in some cases, such as where the mother has been a victim of domestic violence, it is in the interests of the child to end contact.
Ms Reid said, "Children have a right to a relationship with both parents and in most cases there are really positive benefits from that.


"The difficulty is that often when a relationship has broken down there maybe particular circumstances, such as if there has been domestic violence, where it's not in the best interests of the child to have that relationship.
"It's sad that contact is lost and it often happens very gradually over a period of time."
But head of Fathers 4 Justice Wales Phil Davies
said fathers are awarded residency in less than 1% of cases where parents split and it is invariably men who then lose contact with their children.
He said, "Usually it's because the mother wants to play happy families with the new partner.
"Sometimes the mother will move around three or four times so the father cannot have contact. We're dealing with one case at the moment where the mother moved from Bedford in the South East to Swansea, to get away from the father."
Child psychologist Dr Pat Spungin, founder of Raisingkids.co.uk which conducted the research, said children find it easier to accept half-siblings than step-siblings when their parents begin new relationships.
But Dr Spungin said blended families are fraught with problems because of the difficulties in trying to find common ground between two separate and established sets of household rules.
She said, "Trying to merge two sets of rules under the one roof is one of the most problematic and stressful situations that children - and indeed their parents - can go through."
But the psychologist said relationships between children and their step-parents often changed after the arrival of grand-children.
She said, "Grandchildren can help re-connect the original parent and child relationship - and with a step-parent involved this can result in quite significant change.
"Someone previously only known to the family as Carol or John can suddenly come to be referred to as Granny or Grandad, and with it they are essentially embraced further into the family, because of their new grandparent status."
Children in Wales fatherhood development officer Tony Ivens said when a child loses contact with its father it also becomes cut off from one side of its extended family.
"Along with the child losing contact with the non-resident parent, who is normally the father, they lose contact with their extended family on that side. It doesn't just mean disruption for the father, but for the set of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins on that side of the family."


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